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出国留学雅思作文怎么写

2023-11-28 16:01:45  人气:67

10.7日?雅思?考试?大作文题目

Some people think that that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

一些人认为应该禁止在图书馆、商店和公共交通工具等公共场所使用手机。你在多大程度上同意或不同意?

范文:

In our fast-paced world, mobile phones have become an essential tool of communication, connection, and information. However, their use in some public places, such as libraries, shops, and public transport, has sparked controversy. In this essay, I will argue in favor of banning mobile phones in these specific public places, exploring the reasons why such a ban is justified.

Firstly, mobile phones in libraries can disturb the learning and research process. Libraries are meant to be quiet, contemplative spaces where individuals can focus and engage in deep reading and research. The constant buzzing and ringing of mobile phones interrupt this process, disrupting the concentration of other patrons. Additionally, the bright screens and notifications can be a distraction, further interrupting the learning environment. Banning mobile phones in libraries ensures that individuals can focus on their studies and research without interruption.

Secondly, mobile phones in shops can create a safety hazard. The distraction caused by mobile phones can lead to individuals walking into objects or falling down stairs, resulting in injuries. Additionally, the amount of personal information on mobile phones makes them a potential target for thieves. Banning mobile phones in shops not only ensures safety but also deters criminals from targeting shoppers.

Lastly, mobile phones on public transport can also create safety issues. Using mobile phones while driving or riding public transport can be a distraction and lead to accidents. In addition, the signal interference from so many mobile phones on board can affect the operation of the vehicle's systems. Banning mobile phones on public transport ensures the safety of all passengers and prevents any potential mishaps.

In conclusion, while mobile phones have become an integral part of our lives, their use in specific public places such as libraries, shops, and public transport can pose safety risks and disturb the intended purpose of these spaces. Therefore, I support the ban on mobile phones in these locations to ensure safety and a disturbance-free environment for all patrons.

结合雅思写作评分细则:

这篇文章能够充分、清晰地表达作者的观点,并使用丰富、恰当的例子和论据来支持自己的观点。因此:

任务响应:9分

作者明确地陈述了自己的立场,即支持在公共场所禁止使用移动电话,并提供了充分的论据来支持这一观点。

文章涵盖了所有必要的方面,包括移动电话在图书馆、商店和公共交通工具中的使用问题,以及它们可能带来的负面影响。

连贯性和结构:9分

文章采用总分总的结构,清晰地阐述了论点,并提供了三个主要的论据来支持作者的观点。

段落之间逻辑清晰,没有出现跳跃或断裂的情况。

词汇和语法:9分

作者使用了丰富、准确、恰当的词汇和语法来表达自己的观点,没有出现明显的错误或不当使用。

文章的语言表达流畅,没有出现明显的停顿或重复。

语言使用:9分

作者在文章中使用了多种句型和表达方式,使得文章更加丰富和有趣。

作者使用了适当的连接词和短语来连接句子和段落,使得文章更加流畅和易于理解。

论证和论据:9分

作者提供了充分的论据来支持自己的观点,包括移动电话在图书馆、商店和公共交通工具中可能带来的问题,以及禁止使用移动电话的好处。

每个论据都与主题相关,并且能够有效地支持作者的观点。

综上所述,认为这篇文章符合雅思写作9分的标准,

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